It has been several months since I was trapped on this Emperor-forsaken water world after the Rebels destroyed my Death Star. A piece of debris collided with my fighter and stranded me on this world.
It is one of the moons of Yavin, an uncolonized world with little land and lots of lightly polluted water.
In my fighter I had a filtration system and a jug that allow me to drink the water safely....but it is one of the worst chores of my day! I used to command fleets of the Empire's soldiers, but here I am soaking wet and drinking water out of a plastic jug!
Tracking beacon is active, but as of yet no Empire ships have found me yet. I managed to see a Rebel ship once, though it just came out of the atmosphere and dropped waste. It must have been automated because I used every trick with the Force I know to get their attention. Curses. Even the enemy might save me from this rotting cesspit.
I have named my helmet. It is now to be known as Erwin.
He and I have many conversations, but it would seem to any onlookers as if I were talking to myself, so I cut off the external speakers.
I have found a way to ignite the seaweed of this world with the force. At least, I think it is seaweed. My scanners say it is edible, but I honestly don't trust anything I find here after a second Rebel ship started dumping debris from the Death Star into the ocean.
A Storm Trooper helmet washed up on shore yesterday.
Erwin has a new friend. His name is Geoff.
I think they're plotting against me...