Sunday, December 19, 2010

Something I've been thinking about for a while.

The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of 
helicopters in it.  

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and 
compelling reason why we observe Daylight Saving Time. 

People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent 
sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor. 

The most valuable function performed by the federal government is 
entertainment. 

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely 
suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby 
emerging from her at that moment. 

A penny saved is worthless. 

They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never 
be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth 
is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the 
planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in 
the Middle East will be bitter enemies. 

The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip. 

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, 
gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, 
deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers. 

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to 
make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11. 

There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.' 

People who want to share their religious views with you almost 
never want you to share yours with them. 

Nobody is normal. 

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human 
race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, 
that word would be: meetings. 

The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to 
annoy people who are not in them. 

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all 
of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He 
will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad 
hairstyle. 

You should not confuse your career with your life. 

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a 
nice person. 

No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too 
seriously. 

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one 
individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. 
Very often, that individual is crazy. 

Your friends love you anyway. 

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 
  -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" 
I was thinking about all this the other day and realized that I 
don't often follow this as much as I should. Take note. Work on it. 
Your life will get better. 

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Best Advice I Didn't Get While I was in College

There's tons of advice out there, most of it's crap and once you get out of college, you realize how little you know. Hell, for most of us it hits the Spring (or for super seniors Fall) we are about to graduate and we start having to post our resumes. The eternal question becomes not what did you make in x or y class, but what you can do. The difference between knowing and doing is one of the hardest and complex to master. And doing requires time and money. I'm no expert and still a work in progress, but here is my favorite and most useful hour long talk on time management by Randy Pausch. If you've heard it before, it's good to refresh on and if you haven't, it's not a bad way to spent an hour. The single best piece of advice I've gotten on how to get ahead in life besides take a shower and watch what you dress.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Theater quotes from Inspecting Carol at UT

Redbeard: Paste
Beorn: I'm going to be pissing bacon for a week.

Two vikings doing Wacky wavy inflatable arm flailing tube man!

BACON!

It's hug a ginger week!

Of course we don't have any money, we're an arts organization!

This and many other things will be heard from the happenings of theater.

For a partial explanation, meet Redbeard. Another viking than myself. Beorn is the cameraviking:

video

Thursday, December 2, 2010

If you're ever in Paris, wear L'Homme.

Danielle sigh as she watched in disbelief at David rounding another street corner in Paris with a trail of 10 models trailing behind him like obedient geese following a mother hen. The kind you count yourself lucky if you see once a month in the States, and Paris while it has more hot women in it than your average city, hot women are in general shortage the world over. David was an ordinary, average middle of America white college guy, the kind who introduces himself in a bar and fumbles the pick-up line. 5' 11" at most, dark hair, and except for an odd habit or two like ironing his pants in the morning, the type that might get a sunny cute girl next door girlfriend and count himself lucky, not the type that beautiful women talk to in bars, let alone follow like starving cats. She'd watched him fail miserably at the bar talking at any number of stops on their group's way up and down the French coast line all summer with study abroad.
But now three days in a row he couldn't beat them off with stick, and this was the fourth street corner in a row so far on the morning as morning tour progressed. The beauties would pass by behind him, turn as if stuck and follow him for a block or two before shaking their heads in confusion. Trapped fish in a net. The sales lady at the cologne store hadn't been lying it appeared. And it came in that ugly blue bottle no less. Le Male really did work.
Danielle reeled at the idea of finding a secret key like this and decided to promptly lose the group to find her own perfume to reel in guys. 4 hrs. hot sweaty hours later, she finally had to give up finding the small store Katie and David had described finding over on 5th. Years later she would learn that Le Male was made by Jean Paul Gaultier, but she never did figure out the perfume.

Hunt and peck

Welcome to the blog. This is an idea kicked around between myself and a few close friends with which to alleviate boredom from the drudgeries of college life. Comics, random happenings, and possibly even advertising for crafts and craft ideas might come around. Can't wait to see what this turns into.